Speaking from the heart about her experience in suddenly losing her partner, James, in a farm accident, Harriet Bremner is helping to normalise the often confronting subject of dealing with grief and trauma, as well as raising awareness about safety on farm.
Through her blog The Raw Truth and series of Gurt and Pops children’s books, Harriet has found a meaningful way to channel her feelings, and help others at the same time.
Now living on Jericho Station beside the picturesque Fiordland National Park, she is an author, speaker and advocate for health and safety on farms, focusing on a practical approach that will save lives.
She is the author of three children’s books – Bob ‘n’ Pops, Be Safe, Be Seen, and Use Your Voice. The main character, Poppy, is based on the couple’s sausage dog, while Gurt was James’s nickname for Harriet.
After the loss of James and startling realisation about the shortness and fragility of life, this former school teacher decided to embrace her dream of writing children’s books, and hasn’t looked back.
Harriet is currently studying towards her private pilot’s license, enjoys getting out and about helping on the farm, and likes nothing better than galloping around the hunt field on her horse in winter.
She recently launched her podcast, The Raw Truth, sharing authentic stories to normalise conversations around grief, trauma and mental health. You can listen here: https://farmersweekly.co.nz/podcasts
Describe yourself in 3 words: Honest, empathetic, and reliable.
Was there a lightbulb moment for you? Two and a half years after James died, a friend found me literally on my knees in my classroom (I was back teaching fulltime). I realised I needed to make serious changes and confront my grief and trauma, the scariest thing in the whole world. Ultimately, at the end of the day, you are your biggest supporter and you have to make those changes for yourself if you want to pivot and go in the right direction for you and your life, not what society wants or what you think you should be doing. I loved the children and now I go back and visit with my books. That moment made me realise there was something else I wanted to do, with children, but it was around writing and books - and I couldn’t do that from a classroom. Also, my happy place is on the farm.
Best advice you’ve ever received? Be authentic. I think a lot of stuff in life can be sugar-coated and people aren’t always true to themselves. From a speaking point of view, having a genuine, real story, you can learn from that. I think being authentic and real about things means you are being true to yourself, and people pick up on when you are speaking your truth.
What’s one on-farm safety message you’d like everyone to know? Conversations save lives. Conversations and good decision making. Health and safety has been very safety focused, it’s been about paperwork, but that’s not what we should be basing staying alive on. Looking after your health, sleeping well, eating well, means you can make better decisions. A piece of paper won’t save you. Having open, honest conversations in a moment, or just before someone is about to do a job, rather than writing it on a bit of paper and putting it in a filing cabinet, that can save people. Assumption is dangerous, because we assume the person is thinking the same as us. Maybe it’s as simple as saying ‘hey it rained last night, that track might not be safe to use today’. And to have those open, honest conversations you have to have good relationships.
What advice would you give to others starting out in business? Reach out to people in that industry and talk to them. People are scared to make that leap of faith, they might be worried about the money. Do it on the side to start with and slowly build it up. A lot of people are worried about what other people think, but the reality is people think about themselves 99% of the time, they’re not worried about you!
It’s like when you need to exercise, the hardest part is putting your shoes on sometimes.
Just start.
I think about how life is so short and know, genuinely, how quickly it can be taken away from you. If your time is up, are you living, are you satisfied that you have achieved your dreams and goals? Life’s too short to not do it.
Dream way to spend a day? Spending the day with my partner and our animals on the farm doing farming, riding, and flying.
Go hunting with my horse. My partner’s a pilot, so jump in the plane and fly to Spit Island to get some crays and paua. There’s a little beach you can only access by plane or chopper. We’d take the horses out mustering on the farm, take the dogs out. Then food – we cook together and love eating food we have caught, or off the farm. I’d end it all with a dinner party with close friends, good food and some dancing once we’ve drunk too much gin. Exercise is important too. It would be a big day!
What are you reading/listening to? The only thing I’m allowed to read this year is flying books for my exams. So if anyone needs a flying book, come see me.
What I’ve just started doing again is meditation. Last October I took myself off to a three-day grief and trauma retreat. She taught me to meditate. I thought it was a crock of shit before, but I learned how empowering it is. I’m going to build it into my every day. I was in such a state before that retreat, it was one-on-one and it was hard, but amazing. Before, I couldn’t breathe. My whole chest felt like someone had been strangling me, for three and a half years. Running on adrenaline is the most exhausting form of being. I love meditation for the incredible place you go to, and how calm and energised you feel. That’s a bit of advice – try doing the thing you are afraid to try. The reward you get from doing something that’s terrifying is so great.
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